There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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