Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
