JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
