I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
