did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
