before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize