i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
