Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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