Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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