she was so not down for the gang bang
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We named our party play list daddy issues
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
