The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
