There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
