At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
