So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize