Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
