guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
