Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
last night I used snow as a chaser
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