There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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