Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize