dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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