so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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