watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
