Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
