I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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