This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
4 words: hood of his car
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
