Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
