She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
