i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
