i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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