I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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