i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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