Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
