Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
