I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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