So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
