There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You don't make any sense
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