ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize