Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
