Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
