Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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