be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
