What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
