I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
