I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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