"it" just moved
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
