Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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