I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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