There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I look better un-naked...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
