Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
