you would pick up someone in the library
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
