so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize