he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize