Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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