I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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