Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
