OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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