Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
